Wheres the Negativity Coming From?

I've spent the last couple of hours comparing this year to years past on a personal level. By now it is known that we are off to a pitiful record slow start. It is hard to hold back the complaints, but after going back and comparing this year to years past, I am AGAIN ahead of myself.

So far this year I have more chases than any other year, despite one of them being a cap bust. I also snagged some intense footage on Easter Sunday followed by some great structure and damage shots just 2 days later, which also marks the earliest point in any year such things have been accomplished.

Some facts of my chasing career:

- The earliest tornadoes I have seen were May 5th.
- The latest tornadoes I have seen were on June 15th. [Not counting the nappanee EF-3 from 10-18-07 here because I never actually could confirm I saw it, even though we were right behind the damn thing.]
- My best chases seem to come in the first week of June, Ive seen tornadoes on June 5th ['09] June 6th ['07] and June 7th ['08] along with the best structure I have seen to date.
- June 7th seems to be a magic day, if you go back and look at the SPC outlooks almost every year has a MDT or higher [crap I probably just jinxed it.]

So why am I so down? I guess it stems from other stuff going on in my life. I was let go from my 6 year corporate lifestyle job which I absolutely loathed. Since then I have been sort of lost trying to figure out what I want to do next. The corporate lifestyle is not for me. Whats the point of having money if you're miserable? i for one don't enjoy being another faceless sheep pushing 50+ for a corporation that spends more time trying to figure out a way to let me go so they can save money as opposed to keeping their employees happy. That might be the American dream thats pounded into our heads in the classroom but they aint fooling me.

I told myself going into this year that this would be the year I can try and make a huge impact, chasing is truly the reason I exist, it is the only thing that keeps me sane and the ONE aspect of life I cannot live without. Sure, I have plenty of other things that make me happy, but happy and sane are two different things.

Its almost to the point of foolishness, since I know its pretty damn difficult to make a living off chasing thanks to the technology revolution, but others have done it so I don't see why I can't. All it takes is passion, motivation and drive plus not caring how people may judge you based on your social status. There is some of that in the chasing community. A snobbish attitude where those who are well off look down on those who are struggling to find themselves and pursue what really makes them happy...I for one could care less how any person views me.

So I guess thats where my impatience is stemming from, now is the time for me to really get out there and prove myself...but mother nature is barely tossing me a bone. I might not have the means next year to be as free as I am now, and that ads to my eagerness to get out there and get the job done.

Many are optimistic for May and June, in the world of weather I never hold any hopes for what the future will hold, all that matters to me is the NOW.

Alas, as I mentioned above, comparing this year to years past I am off to a great start, so if the pattern can change I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to trump my prior seasons yet again.